Raw from Rejection

I admit it. When the rejection letter from Apple came yesterday I was upset. Not quite devastated, but I had a good cry. My father has always called me a ‘sensitive little petal’. I submitted my application for the Apple Distinguished Educator cohort of 2013 way back in November. I spent way too many hours videoing, recording, editing and writing to prepare the two minute video and accompanying written piece. I did the best I could. Disappointed, I am.

Working through the rawness last night, a million thoughts went through my head. ‘Give up’ tried to creep in there on more than one occasion. ‘Why am I doing this?’. ‘What a waste of time’. Plus a few other thoughts and choice words that are not fit to be aired here in public. Thankfully whenever doubt raised its ugly head it was quickly punched out of the way by the fire in my belly.

Here’s the thing.

I know deep inside that I am a good educator and I know I am doing good things. I know that whatever knocks I take are there for me to learn from.

I know I still have a hell of a lot to learn. I know that I will continue to strive to be the very best educator I can be.

I know that I don’t need a flashy acronym with a piece of fruit next to my name to prove that.

This is not a rant against Apple. Although I’m not impressed with the ‘no feedback’ stance. I’m sure that they have chosen the very best educators that applied. I know I’m still raw, but I will be very surprised if I re-apply for the next round of ADE (maybe 2015?). Once bitten, twice shy. I don’t think I want to put in that much effort for something that more than likely won’t happen. It’s not a valuable use of my time. I have to put this into perspective. Apple is a huge worldwide money-making machine. Improving education for future economic leaders is NOT its top priority. It is mine.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Even if we never find out what that reason is. I was obviously not meant to be a part of the ADE thing. I’ll get over it and move on.

I’m working hard on my Certificate in Educational Technologies. I will finish that this year, without a doubt. I will continue to work hard after that and complete my Masters. I am going to the 21CLHK conference next week and I will learn there and make connections with other educators. I will continue to use Twitter as my own personal professional development. 

I will not give up.

To those of you who were successful and did get accepted into the ADE 2013, I wish you well.

Image: ‘Open door‘ http://www.flickr.com/photos/18281912@N08/2434221761 Found on flickrcc.net

#Reflecting #Thinking